If you would of told me 3 years ago the people that were in my life then would not be in my life now, I wouldn’t of believed you. In fact, I would of put my whole life on it that those friendships would still be strong. Boy, how wrong I was.
It has taken me a long time to learn and accept that it’s okay to outgrow friendships. People come and go. There are some friends we have which we think will be there ’till the end, but we later learn that they’re not going to stick around for too long.
There will be those few people who are here for the long haul. I am a firm believer that you meet everyone for a reason. When people come and go, I learn a lesson. There always is a lesson to learn.
As I’ve got older my circle has become smaller; which I don’t think is a bad thing. I would rather have a few friends who are always there for me, than a large friendship group who are bad friends. The small circle of friends that I do have, are the most inspirational and strongest people I know. They inspire me to want to do more and be more. They don’t drag me down or criticize me. I am learning to move forwards, without those other people that I once called ‘friends’.
What are the signs that you’re outgrowing a friendship?
So this is what I’ve learnt in my experience…
- Poor communication. They reply to your messages days later or don’t reply at all.
- You are friends for old times sake. Your old memories are the only thing keeping your friendship together.
- Anybody there? Your friend only calls when he/she wants something from you, yet are never around when you need them.
- You’re growing. But they’re not.
- You have nothing in common anymore. Your lives have gone down two completely different paths.
- They never have time for you. They never have time for you anymore, or most importantly…they never MAKE time for you.
- Constantly cancelling. They cancel on you often and last minute, too.
- They’re never happy for you. When you mention your achievements and success, they can’t be happy for you.
- Neither of you prioritize your friendship. Maybe you’re just not bothered about keeping in-touch or seeing them anymore.
- Stronger friendships. You’ve formed friendships which are much stronger and met people who are much more reliable.
“The most beautiful thing about outgrowing friendship is that it opens up room for other, better connections.”
In 2019, there will be friendships I say goodbye to. There are still those few people that only text when they want something, who drop me last minute because they have a ‘better’ offer. Who fail to text back until a week later, who are always “busy”.
Have you outgrown many friendships? What are your experiences in this situation? Drop me a comment below…
A 23 year old from the Midlands, always looking to escape her hometown for an adventure.